The pope has today released details of the Vatican’s end of year special offers.
Presumably in an attempt to halt the decline in attendance figures, all Catholics will be given less time in purgatory as long as they visit the shrine at Lourdes. This is a cunning plan , not least because it will rather cleverly boost the coffers of the Church at the same time.
Watch this space for news of further ‘downgrading’ of other sins, such as getting over friendly with choir boys, beating the wife, alcohol abuse, and waging war on other religions.
No one as yet has questioned whether the Pope has the power to grant this concession, which has hitherto been in the hands of the Almighty.
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