In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines

A results of a recent survey among the population of the UK has given a boost to the B.A.R party.
BAR, (Ban All Religions) which used to be considered very much a minority movement has gained considerable ground in recent years - sufficient to give serious concern to religious groups around the world who have widely condemned it.
The Republican party in America, along with other right wing groups, the NRA , Oil companies and arms dealers across the globe are calling for laws making it illegal to belong to BAR.
The Vatican has been particularly vocal.
In response to a vitriolic attack from the Pope himself, the leader of BAR is quoted as saying: ‘ The catholic church, along with most other religions have historically, got more than their fair share of blood on their hands, and I for one will not take life lessons from a rich bloke in a frock who used to belong to the Nazi party’!
The poll's results also show that while religious leaders are united, for once, in a common hatred of BAR, peace groups, scientists and environmentalists are unanimous in their support of it.
George Bush recently said in an interview, that 'BAR are the biggest threat to life as we know it on this planet’ and is even reported to be lobbying Muslim countries for discussions on how to 'thwart this evil threat'.
American Evangelists along with some Welsh people, have retreated to a secret location to await armageddon which they proclaim, will be on the day, soon in their opinion, that BAR's leaders are elected to positions of power.
Meanwhile, Christian groups in the Uk have called for sanctions to any south american country where the name 'Jesus' is being used not only for children, but dogs and toys.